28 Comments
User's avatar
Aja J. Arc's avatar

I buzzed mine off in October. 37. Not a bob, not a fringe. 7 milimeters left. It was on our first night of a 3-month camper trip through Europe, parking lot in an industrial zone in Italy. Full Moon in Aries, rain pouring.

The idea came as you describe it - unexpected, but also relentless, so I just went for it before the courage left me. I wanted to know who I was without my hair. It taught me more than any other out-of-the box experience I ever chose to give myself with this same intention. And it mostly wasn't pretty.

Hair is everything.

P.S.: My 5yo daughter lost it. She told me I was ugly, that I wasn't her mom anymore.

I don't regret it, but if I were to do it again (which I won't 🙈), I'd prepare myself and my daughters for it.

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

Aja! This is potent. I visualized the entire moment as if I was there with you.

So. Much. Resonance. You're incredibly courageous.

I’m pretty sure our daughters will look back and see us as brave—for trusting our intuition, for cutting our hair when it felt like the only thing that made sense, for making declarations in the language of our soul.

Loved reading your comment!

Expand full comment
Aja J. Arc's avatar

Maybe. Or maybe they'll think we were batshit crazy, but I’ll always know I had to clear up the shit that my prisoner haircut (I was going for Sinead O'Connor, but hey) brought up so that they'll never have to, and that's good enough for me.

Thank you, Amanda, the resonance runs both ways. 💚

Expand full comment
Vicky D's avatar

Love this so much as a mum of a now woman, all the bells are clanging right here with you and for you. We rely far too much on their approval and you rightly showed them - I am me. Like it or not that is huge for them even if they execute that move in a completely different way - they will one day understand 🌸

Expand full comment
Vicky D's avatar

Wow - raw and real . We are all victims of the beauty industry 😔

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

Thank you for your comment, Vicky!

Expand full comment
Andre Adoloffo BA's avatar

Great WISDOM

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

Thank you, Andre!

Expand full comment
Andre Adoloffo BA's avatar

Nice profile image. Are u in Telegram or Whatsapp?

Expand full comment
Lisa Brunette's avatar

I cut my hair myself! Even bought a special pair of scissors to do it. I wrote it up last year and referenced the exact same Fleabag scene, too:

https://open.substack.com/pub/brunettegardens/p/slowpocalypse-barber?r=1n113r&utm_medium=ios

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

I usually cut my own hair too. This one was a bit too drastic and I wanted some layers. It's a potent scene and I just LOVE Fleabag in general.

Expand full comment
Lisa Brunette's avatar

It's a fab series.

Expand full comment
moonlight ✷'s avatar

I cut off all my hair for the first time in 25 years. I had a traumatizing haircut at 7 years old and I've had long hair ever since. But after going through so many changes in my adult life, I needed my outward appearance to relfect what was going on inside. So I cut if all off. Haven't looked back since.

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

Andy, thank you so much for sharing! How did cutting it off feel? Liberating? You’ve kept it short ever since? x

Expand full comment
moonlight ✷'s avatar

Nerve-wracking at first but then do liberating. A visible reminder of change.

Expand full comment
Lauren Pérez's avatar

I think it’s a well known trope between women/femme friend groups that when someone gets bangs they’re in crisis 😂 I think cutting your hair is always a ritual—in some cultures they don’t because it represents something vital within the person. I love that a drastic change like this can feel like a cleanse or a rebirth or even a cry for help. And it’s often the most direct and tangible way to surface the changes within you. Can’t wait to see the bob 😘

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

"It's always a ritual" Guess we're both in a rebirth period. Celebrating our resonance! 😘

Expand full comment
Janine Agoglia's avatar

I chopped all my hair into a pixie cut (from waist length) when I graduated from college and was finally out from under my mother's control. It was liberating! I have since grown it and cut it numerous times. You can be beautiful with short hair. What matters is that it feels like you.

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

Celebrating that liberation! "What matters is that it feels like you." ♡

Expand full comment
Alexandra Lais's avatar

Hair is everything! I have a haircut planned next week and also been contemplating something more radical haha, like perhaps a fringe? But also slightly scared to do it! Rooting for you ✊🏼

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

Ahh couldn't love the resonance more. Please share pics! Rooting for you too, love. Mine is booked for tomorrow.

Expand full comment
Alexandra Lais's avatar

I'll try haha, and you too-would love to see the new look!

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

deal ♡

Expand full comment
James M O’Brien's avatar

👏👏👏

Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

I'm finally doing it!

Expand full comment
James M O’Brien's avatar

A good lesson for your littles about beauty. Mothers are wonderful teachers. Have fun. 😉

Expand full comment
Alice's avatar

I can totally relate... "Because in this moment, it isn’t just about hair. It’s about voice. About visibility. About crossing into a new season of my life..."

I have been moving through a very dense, dark and difficult season of my life over the last 1.5 years. And although I have been tempted to just chop it all off into a bob, I purposely have refrained.. letting it continue to grow as I move through this heavy time, knowing that a "rebirth" and "new chapter" of my life is just around the corner. Only then, will I cut it.

Cutting my hair will be so rich in symbolism and emotion for me this time. It will mean "final release" of this painful chapter in my life and cutting away of the "old." Stepping fresh into the new, my authentic self, with no heavy baggage so I can travel light. I can't wait for it! 💇🏻‍♀️🎉

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
May 18
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Amanda James's avatar

I love that you resonate with it being ritualistic! "A beginning..." This hits so hard, Billie.

Expand full comment