What Would Happen If You Spoke to Yourself Like This?

Dear Beloved Feelers & Healers,

As I scrolled through a post titled “A Dozen Things to Say to Your Kids at Bedtime”, I felt an unexpected lump rise in my throat. The tenderness of the words—“You’re exactly who this family needs,” “Nothing could change how much I love you,” “I noticed your kind heart when you…”—hit me in a way I didn’t anticipate.

It wasn’t because they reminded me of how I speak to my loved ones. It was because I realized how rarely I say these things to myself.

How often do we extend this kind of kindness inward?

The truth is, many of us treat ourselves in a way we’d never treat a child—or even a stranger. We criticize, demand perfection, or brush off our own efforts as “not enough.” But what if we didn’t? What if we approached ourselves with the same compassion, warmth, and patience we offer others?

Reparenting Ourselves Through Language

In somatic healing, there’s a concept called reparenting. It’s the idea that we can provide ourselves with the care, love, and affirmation we may not have received as children—or that we lost sight of as adults. Words are a powerful tool in this process.

Take a moment to read the list above. Now imagine saying those things to yourself:

• “You’re exactly who this world needs.”

• “I noticed your kind heart today.”

• “You worked so hard on that project—good job.”

How does it feel? Does it feel awkward? Tender? Impossible? Maybe a mix of everything?

The Body Remembers Everything

The way we speak to ourselves has a direct impact on our nervous systems and emotional states. According to Polyvagal Theory, words of kindness can activate the ventral vagal state, which is linked to feelings of safety, connection, and self-compassion. In contrast, self-criticism often keeps us in fight-or-flight or shutdown mode.

If we were to incorporate these phrases into our inner dialogue, how might it shift the way we feel in our bodies? Could it help us settle into the present moment, offer ourselves grace, and begin to believe we’re worthy of love—exactly as we are?

A Gentle Practice: Speaking to Your Inner Child

This week, I’d like to invite you to experiment with this. Before bed, or whenever you need a moment of care, try speaking to yourself as if you were tucking in a child who needed comfort and encouragement. You might say:

• “You did your best today. I’m proud of you.”

• “It’s okay not to have all the answers. You’re safe.”

• “Nothing could change how much I love you.”

If the words feel uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Healing old wounds through compassionate language is an unfamiliar practice for most of us. But with time and repetition, it can become a profound tool for reparenting and self-love.

Thank you for being here, for feeling and healing alongside me. I see your kind heart. I notice the effort you put into your growth and healing. You’re exactly who this world needs.

With love & gratitude,

Amanda x